FAT GIRL BEGONE

Fat Girl Begone by D.E. Haggerty

 

Fat Girl Begone! 

Romantic Comedy 

Self Published 

Print Length: 235 pages 

Publication Date: May 1, 2017 

ASIN: B06XTSHJHB

I’m a total mess. My boyfriend dumped me – get this – because I diet too much. Not because I’m fat, mind you. Of course, this spurs me into the diet-fitness-revenge-plan of the century, which leads me to the gym and a scorching hot personal trainer. I even manage to make some cool new friends, including a millionaire if you can believe it. Things are looking up! Naturally, that’s the moment my ex decides he wants me back, the personal trainer asks me out, and my millionaire male buddy decides to throw his hat in the ring. But that’s not enough drama. No, not for me. Because I’ve also lost my job and decided to start my own business. Just call me Ms. Drama.

Warning: Bad language, bumpy roads, and embarrassing moments ahead. But there’s also more than a bit of romance and even, if we’re lucky, love. Fingers crossed.

Not endorsed by or affiliated with any brand of tequila.

10 5 Things You Don’t Know About Everly, the heroine of Fat Girl Begone!

Everly Rawlins is the heroine of Fat Girl Begone! I thought I’d give her the chance to talk about herself. She wasn’t exactly thrilled about the opportunity and even less so when I gently reminded her that she couldn’t use any ‘adult’ language. But it wasn’t like I was giving her an option or anything. So, without further ado, heeerrreee’s Everly       (sorry, I always wanted to do that).  

What? *Gulp* You want me to write ten things no one knows about me? Like, what kind of things? Don’t I embarrass myself normally without actually giving other people fuel with which to embarrass me?   Okay, fine,  I’ll do it but you’re going to really owe me one. 

*Attempts (and fails) to injure the author with her laser eyes*

1.      I nearly flunked out of AP Calculus in high school. I know it’s hard to believe from the big ‘numbers nerd’, but it’s true. Well, kind of. I didn’t flunk out because I sucked at calculus. I nearly flunked out because I wasn’t showing my work. Apparently, that’s a rule.  It didn’t matter that I got the right answer. Luckily, I was able to re-take the final exam.   I still think the system is rigged.

2.      In high school, I tried to lose weight by eating only carrots for breakfast and lunch. My mom would never let me skip dinner so I had to eat ‘normal’ meals at supper time.  Even with eating a normal dinner every day, eating that many carrots had a profound effect on my bodily functions. Profound.

3.      I was in love with the neighbor boy when I was in 2^nd grade. He obviously didn’t return my affections since he pushed me off the monkey bars. Bet he wasn’t expecting me to punch him in the face.

4.      To my great embarrassment, I developed boobs and hips way earlier than any other girls in my class. Determined to rid myself of those pesky reminders of my ‘girliness’, I wrapped my hips and boobs in cellophane for a week. As you can imagine, there was not a decrease in inches around my feminine areas. But I did end up buying the drugstore out of deodorant, because cellophane does not let your skin breathe.  At.  All.

5.      In yet another attempt to lose weight and get fit, I bought a step scooter and decided I’d use it to get me to and from work. Naturally, I didn’t buy an expensive scooter because I didn’t know if I’d like it. On my first day using the stupid thing, I ran over a rock, went flying, and stopped myself by skidding on my knees across the pavement. Maybe the cheap scooter from the kid’s section of the toy store wasn’t the best idea.  

6.      Once, I told the person who created me that I’d tell the world ten things they didn’t know about me. I stopped at five. Six if you count this confession. And, yeah, we’re totally counting this confession.

Carter is changed into street clothes by the time I join him at the entrance to the gym. He’s wearing jeans with more holes than material and a Star Wars t-shirt with a picture of a storm trooper and the words ‘Chicks dig the uniform’ printed underneath.

“In case anyone was confused about whether you’re a geek or not?” I raise an eyebrow at him as I try not to laugh out loud. Or at least not too loud.

He shrugs. “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

“Okay. A well-rounded geek who can quote Oscar Wilde.”

“That’s Oscar Wilde?” He winks. “Come on. There’s a little bar next door.”

We quickly walk to the bar where I am obviously not the only person enjoying the pleasure of athleisure apparel. “Someone took the whole location, location, location advice and ran with it.” The place is the standard model of a sports bar except it’s not full of men getting off work and catching a game on the big screen. Nope. The place is packed with people telling themselves that the calories in the beer don’t count if they worked out first. At least that’s what I plan on telling myself.

Carter puts his hand on the small of my back and gently leads me to a small high table to the side of the bar. “Tequila?”

I shake my head. “Not unless you want to find out if this high table can support my weight when I decide to dance on it.”

He looks under the table and studies the joints. “Looks like it can take it.”

“Are you an engineer as well as Star Wars aficionado?”

He shrugs. “Does software engineer count?” I ignore his question and ask for a beer.  

“So,” Carter starts as he sets down two extra-large frosty mugs of beer. “What’s going on?”

I shrug and take a long pull on my beer. “It’s just been a really tough week.”

“You looked pretty happy when you finished with your personal trainer on Wednesday.” Is that a jealous tone I detect? I study Carter’s face, but he keeps his expression neutral as he takes a drink from his mug.

“Just some issues at work.”

“Anything I can help with?”

I bark out a laugh. “Not unless you have $150,000 you can part with.”

“I can loan you the money if you like.” He says the words as if it’s no big deal to have access to that kind of money. Who is this guy?

“Do you really have that kind of money?” I slap my hand over my mouth when I realize what I just asked. “Forget I said that. I’m sorry.”

Carter shrugs. “I’m not. It’s no secret that I have some money. If you need it, all you have to do is ask.”

I lean forward and study his face for signs he’s pulling my leg. “Oh my god, you’re not kidding. You do have the money.”

He raises an eyebrow at me. “You really don’t know who I am?”

Is that some kind of trick question? “You’re Carter.” I point to his t-shirt. “Lover of Star Wars. I’m still in suspense about whether you love Star Trek as well.”

“You’ll just have to wait to find out.” He winks before leaning back. He stares at me and remains quiet for longer than is comfortable. Finally, he shrugs. “You may have heard of my company.
Carter Enterprises.”

“So, you do love Star Trek!”

If you like your romantic comedies a bit on the snarky side, you will laugh out loud at Everly and her entourage.
Whether you are the workout fanatic or the self conscious chubby girl, you will enjoy this novel and connect with the characters. The book begins with Everly being dumped by the man she figured was her future. He doesn't even give her a good reason, just packs up and leaves.
Thank goodness for best girlfriends who will drop everything and pick you up off the floor.
Everly depends upon her best friend, and new friends, and needs being picked up, more than once. She is thrown into a world she would not have agreed to had she been sober.
Add to that, betrayal at her job... and Everly has to discover for herself how strong she truly is.
There is a lesson for each of us in this book, to believe in ourselves and to never feel unworthy or incapable. Author D.E. Haggerty delivers in a FUN and flirty way.
This would be a super beach read.

I grew-up reading everything I could get my grubby hands on from my mom's Harlequin romances to Nancy Drew to Little Women. When I wasn't flipping pages in a library book, I was penning horrendous poems, writing songs no one should ever sing, or drafting stories which have thankfully been destroyed. 

College and a stint in the U.S. Army came along, robbing me of free time to write and read, although on the odd occasion I did manage to sneak a book into my rucksack between rolled up socks, MRIs, t-shirts, and cold weather gear. After surviving the army experience, I went back to school and got my law degree. 

I jumped ship and joined the hubby in the Netherlands before the graduation ceremony could even begin. A few years into my legal career, I was exhausted, fed up, and just plain done. I quit my job and sat down to write a manuscript, which I promptly hid in the attic after returning to the law. But being a lawyer really wasn’t my thing, so I quit (again!) and went off to Germany to start a B&B. 

Turns out being a B&B owner wasn’t my thing either. I polished off that manuscript languishing in the attic before deciding to follow the husband to Istanbul where I decided to give the whole writer-thing a go. But ten years was too many to stay away from adopted home. 

I packed up again and moved to The Hague where I’m currently working on my next book. 

I hope I’ll always be working on my next book.

Fat girl Begone! is my eleventh book.



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